Not jokes
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Imagine. Kobe could not.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.