Not jokes
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
It's not a joke.
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.