Not jokes

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.

What goes up and down and does not move?

Stairs.

Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

"Orange, orange, orange."

"Knock, knock."

"Orange."

"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.

'Cause they sell oden, not a family.

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.