Not jokes
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.