Not in Jokes

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day and Eve says to Adam let's go for a swim. Adam replies I'm not in the mood. She says ok I will go by myself. She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says the water is beautiful come in and Adam replies na still not in the mood. Eve wade's into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says Oh No now all the fish are gonna smell like that.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

HA URANUS FACE Not in a racist way tho

Question Your American when your not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when your in the restroom.

Answer European (Your a peein')

A middle eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show, he starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

What's the difference between a baby and a salad? I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urnel......Later on I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because well he probably had to go but yeah he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urnel so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part

If the sun is 9n space, then why is there light on earth, but not in space?

i went fishing while watching porn and my girlfriend said ''well you want my fish''and i said but your not in the water.

THE REASON WHY WOMEN HAVE SUFFERED LONGER THEN MEN IS BECAUSE MEN ARE USING WOMEN AND ABUSING THEM AS TOOLS AND PROPERTY WHICH THEY AREN’T DURING WWll WOMEN WERE USED EVERYDAY BY EVIL MEN FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR WIVES AND MUSILM WOMEN ARE BEING RAPED, WOMEN CHILDREN ARW BEING RAPED EVERYDAY WHILE YOU FUCKING TURDS OF HUMAN SHIT ARE MAKING JOKES OF ISSUES THAT NEED TO STOP SO STO WITH THE HOMOPHOBIA, ISLAMPHOBIA, BIPHOBIA AND ALL THE OTHER PHOBIAS MAKE SEXUAL HARASSMENT, ASSAULT AND RAPE VICTIMS VOICES HEARD WE WILL NOT STAY SILENT BECAUSE OF THIS SHITTY APP! ALSO GOD CREATED WOMEN EQUALY AS MEN DO NOT MISTREAT YOUE SISTERS, MOTHERS, AUNGS, MOTHER IN LAWS HOPE ALL YOU RAPISTS SEXUAL ABUSERS, SEXUAL ASSAULTERS ROT IN HELL WHERE YOU DESERVE TO BE NOT IN THIS COUNTRY OR ANY OTHER PLACE HELL IS WHERE YOU BELONG 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿