None jokes
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Your
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
These aren't funny.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black.
Nononono.
Зуе ? Д \| |=- (L j3 Ø И [- 4
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.