Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
bro wtf is all this!? like fr tho none of this be funny....messed up af to joke abt sum shii that ppl go thru
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
