None

None jokes

Short jokes

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Cancer

What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?

There's none, they both don't age well.

  • 0

    • What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.

  • 0

    • Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

    I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

    How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

    Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?

    Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.

  • 1

    • It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

    None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

    Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭

    How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None, they sit in the dark and cry.

    In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?

    None, both carpet munchers eat out.

    What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

    There is none, they both go up in flames.