Night Jokes

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

A meme displaying five different options labeled A through E of items that can be chosen as a loadout. The text says, "You're being hunted in the woods at night by an unknown cryptid. Choose your loadout." Option A shows an assault rifle, body armor, a knife, and a pistol. Option B shows 5 silhouettes of men and weapons like torches, pitchforks and a baseball bat. Option C shows two priests, a cross, holy water and two lanterns. Option D shows three dogs, a gun, a bracelet, and a flashlight. Option E shows a muscular man, viagra, alcohol, and other random items.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

How long was the owl trick or treating?

Owl night long!

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.