Night jokes

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.

How do you find Will Smith?

You look for the Fresh Prince.

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

What do people ask on a Friday night?

"Hey, wanna go to the Barb?"

What does Joyce do on a Saturday night?

Netflix and Will? Will? WILL!? WIIIILLLL?

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.