Night jokes

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

How long was the owl trick or treating?

Owl night long!

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

What’s red and white and black all over?

A dead white man at night time!

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.