Last night I had the strangest dream !
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and was everything OK with his wife flo. He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could but he just couldn't get overflow
So on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky. Dad: aren't the stars just wonderful? I'm not sure, from my angle all I see is clouds. Dad: Well come over hear and take a look. Boy: Damm, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!!! Dad: Well then I guess I will have too make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said... NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras but then I heard popping behind me
I did a good night and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried totouch it that night, next day I went to court.
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night I did not have time today I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner I
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn It keeps the sheets of my bed at night
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
Okay, Good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld" you did not make it.
When i was 11 My mom came home from the bar super drunk that night and I just wanted to know if they knew where was the cat because I heard a noise.................we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed that i only had a crock pot😅
How long was the owl 🦉 trick or treating?
Owl night long!
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, Cause I’m in your house every night doin your mo-om.
