Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was spider man no way home
