Breaking news man with altiemers forgets he’s blind and recovers form visual impairment
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"
Why can't sally swing? Because she has no arms Knock knock, "who's there?", not sally
*new* Where did sally go when the bombs dropped? Everywhere
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot”
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend he said " it's simple , she pushes all the right buttons "
A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry
Why did Michael Jackson rush to h&m?: they had new billie jeans
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It Sucks.
what did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
meooooow
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to go check my garage, it’s all good bc I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was spider man no way home
Why was it cold in Stephen hawkings house? - Because he had a new window open...
😂👌🏻
so I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer. Now I don't know what they were laced with but I was trippin all day.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
