warner brothers have made a new superman movie with superman being black. this new supermans nickname is the man of steel but its spelt s-t-e-a-l
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“
Mom👱🏻♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“
Dad👨🏻🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“
me: im home ma heres her with a new dad her: go hang wit someone :me gets the noose goes to fav tree i love you ma 🙂
Happy new year 🥳
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
did u hear about the new german microwave? it has ten seats in it
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "the exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does a broken down vegetable say? I need new wheels.
There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.
So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school. “Dad I got an F in Geography class!” “Why is that?” “The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building’” Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What where your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
On 9/11 the new yorks lost to the jets
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly there was also two towers included in the box as well..
A father bought his depressed son a new house and then pointing at it he said "hang in there son".
