Worst Jokes Ever
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
I need to Goliath down and sleep!
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.