Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
Worst Jokes Ever
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your eyebrows.
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can go 1, 2, 3 but they can’t go home. 🤣
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
