Worst Jokes Ever
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.