Worst Jokes Ever
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Why canβt Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
LYNXXXXXXX!
"Ayo, Lynx, where you at?"
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends arenβt sure whether to blindfold her.
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)