Worst Jokes Ever
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.