Worst Jokes Ever

How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.

What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!

What are Russia's favorite netball positions?

Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?

I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?

Because they don't have a dad to tell them.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.

Hi, my name is Moo, what is your name? Moo.

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.

Me: Why?

Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

Man, I hate the government.

Why did the qack go duck?

I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8

Why did Rhydon get an orphan...

Rhydon deez nuts!