An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
What happens to Emos when they go up
They never come down
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
why do women rub there eyes when they wake up cuz they don't got balls to scratch
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until your twelve to come on your face
whats the diffrence between an apple and an orphan? one actually gets picked
