Never jokes

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

Why do Asians excel at math?

Because their dog can never eat their homework.

I would make a disabled joke.

But they never work.

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

Why does the basketball never get a date?

Because they dribble.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.