Never jokes
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.