what did nemos dad say "man hes alot like my dad, i can never find him"
Why should old womon never eat sea food?
Cuz then she'll start acting crabby.
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches? No brain no pain.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood
Knock, knock. (Whose there?) Bill Cosby. (Bill Cosby who?) Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
why is Peter pan always flying?
because he Never lands
Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you
Ur mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
(Enjoy!)
What 2 things can you never have for breakfast??
Lunch and Dinner!!!
I never knew what my dad's job was. One day, at school, I got a scam phonecall, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
mum: why are roses red? child: stop, mum, you never make jokes. mum: i made you.
one day my friend said: i want tacos from Katie's, you? and i said no thanks and she left i never saw her again, today i remember that i saw her name on TV as one of the victems of suicide, then i remember her and I's moto: if i'm dieing you dieing with me you got no chouse, i NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Who's never the last man standing---Steven hawking
So I am an emo dude so I sit in the back of the class and I talk to no one.But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me so I just ignored him.Then he got really pissed off and said “I’m gonna kill you”.I was like “Your gonna kill me just because I ignored you, is your ego that big, wow.”He left then the next day he brought his goons with him and said “now your dead” I ignored him again and he said “you will pay for this.”So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house then him and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died so I kept on walking.I had some rope traps set.This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emo’s.We have ropes everywhere.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar. An hour or so goes, then the new flame says, I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice,food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there? His friend ok, Watch this. He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool,pulls down his zipper and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin,cleaned himpulled up his zipper then jumped to his chair. Walked back to his new gay friend and said what do you think of that? MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that! His squeeze said wanna give it a try? I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey. how's that?
Maybe the Ocean is salty because the land never waves back
