Name jokes
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.