When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
