Name jokes
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
Edward Robinson + Grant Wisler = WHAT THE FU**?
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
Daeveeonnnn.
Daveon...