My jokes

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

Me and 1/2 of my friends.

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.

I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.

herishy, my little sissy dont report me.

I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

My kid had an accident.

"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.

So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun...

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.