My jokes

Whoever took my dildo,

I hope you're having a good time.

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.

Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!

Put some Windex on it.

SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!

I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?

What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

No. Eat my butt!

I have breakfast with my boys.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

So my bus... goodness.

My car 🚘

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.