My jokes

Tractor

What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?

*waits 25 seconds*

"I lost my tractor!"

Makeup

Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?

My sister wearing all the world's makeup.

Sister: Just a little.

War

Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends

Gay

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

Miscarriage

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

Memes

My memes

Group

Hi, my name is unknown guy! Please comment on the pictures I show you and join my group!

Cow

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

Uncle

I was looking forward to reading the short jokes to see if I could find my uncle.

Tree

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"

Wife

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

School

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

Poop

Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!

Put some Windex on it.

Brain

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

Dog

One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."

The other said, "Really? I like my bed."