My jokes

My life </3 XD :'(

I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.

My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

My friend's life.

One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."

The other said, "Really? I like my bed."

The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?

What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

Me: Hi Kallen.

Kallen: Hi.

Me: You're too big to fit in my car.

I have breakfast with my boys.

Have you heard about my new can crushing job?

It's soda-pressing.