My jokes

My life #freemymanrkelly

JOKES

1. my life 2. pat as a cat.

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."

Get it? I read? No... ok.

My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.

Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker...

Follow my Twitch: fifa_king1122

Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

My mom is gay.

Yan nan ate my salty penis.

One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."

At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,

"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"