My jokes

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.

Here’s my pun.

Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.

The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).

What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?

"Rust in pieces!"

POO I LOVE POO.

Here’s my song:

“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”

Thank you!

Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"

Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.

My wife left me yesterday.

I haven't talked to the kids in a year.

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.

A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."

Who said that?

If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?

Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!