My jokes
Follow my Twitch: fifa_king1122
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
What did I say to my friend, "Job, your new name is Jojo Siva?"
What did I say to my friend? "Job, your new name is Jojo Siwa."
Memes
me now & go look at one of my first posts on here
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
My mom is gay.
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.