My jokes

I like my coffee like my men, long and black.

Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).

What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?

"Rust in pieces!"

My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!

POO I LOVE POO.

Here’s my song:

“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”

Thank you!

Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!

I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"

Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.

Here’s my pun.

Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.

The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...

My horrible life.

A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."

Who said that?

If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?

My wife left me yesterday.

I haven't talked to the kids in a year.