I killed myself, then woke up.
My Jokes
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
Hi, my name is unknown guy! Please comment on the pictures I show you and join my group!
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
Orphan: Favorite song?
My name:
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!
Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?
I was looking forward to reading the short jokes to see if I could find my uncle.
I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.
Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!
Put some Windex on it.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
