My jokes

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

My dad is unlucky.

Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

What makes you guys high?

I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.

My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.

This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"

Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.

My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!

What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!

Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!

Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.

Mom: Meet my boyfriend.

Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?

Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.

What is your name?

My ankle is named Samantha.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?

We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.