My jokes

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

Why is my plane delayed?

Because someone hit the Sears Tower.

Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I care when my computer crashes.

"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"

My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?

We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

I slit my wrists.

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?

Banana Joe: No.

Darwin: Is it a leaf?

Banana Joe: No.

Gumball: What is it then?

Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!