Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.
My Jokes
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Suck my balls!
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"
Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
