My jokes

I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?

Rocket League!

(Ali A Intro)

I like men.

Wanna smash?

Suck my balls.

I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.

This joke sucks terribly.

Honestly just like and leave.

Add me on discord.

IceyTrae#2230

Lebron>MJ

"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."

What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?

"You're the ying to my yang!"

My friend is blind so he can "no see."

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.

When you end up pregnant...

Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂

I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

My favorite meme is, "N_gga."

I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.

I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.