My jokes
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Memes
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
WD 5TB My Passport Portable External Hard Drive HDD, USB 2.0 Compatible, Black - WDBPKJ0050BBK-WESN
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."