My jokes

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

"Police control! Have you been drinking?"

"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"

"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Do you like Imagine Dragons?

Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"