My jokes

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

I laughed at my life so hard.

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

My balls.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”

Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.