My jokes

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

What makes my life so unfair?

You invading it for no apparent reason.

My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! 🥳🥳🥳

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"

My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA

Why do you need an AR-15?

So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.

Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"