My jokes

First bite: Oh my God!

Second bite: Oh my, God!

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

When people ask my age, this is what I do.

“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!

Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.