My jokes

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.

Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!