My jokes

Read my name. 👍🇮🇪

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

My life, ha ha funny!

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

I think my penis has facial recognition.

My wife left me and took the kids.

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!