My jokes

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Wanna hear a funny joke?

My life.

Teacher: Anyone missing?

Orphan: My parents.

Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

Orphan: My family.

Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

You are so ugly my man died.

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left.

- Do Re Mi- By- blackbear

Do, re, mi, fa, so

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

Do, re, mi, fa, so

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met

I probably would just stay in bed

You run your mouth all over town

And this one goes out to the sound

Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover

Pay me back, or bitch it's over

All the presents I would send

Fuck my friends behind my shoulder

Next time, I'ma stay asleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh

And you got me thinkin' lately

Bitch, you crazy

And nothing's ever good enough

I wrote a little song for ya

It go like

Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

So fuckin' done with all the games you play

I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

Send the X and O's on another note

I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

If I could go back to the day we met

I probably would've stayed in bed

You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent

Designer shoes and Xanax tabs

Compliments your make-up bag

You never had to buy yourself a drink

'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime

And you got me thinkin' lately

Bitch, you crazy

And nothing's ever good enough

I wrote a little song for ya

It go like

Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

So fuckin' done with all the games you play

I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

Send the X and O's on another note

I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

I wrote a little song for you, it go like

Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

So fuckin' done with all the games you play

I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

Send the X and O's on another note

I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Do, re, mi, fa, so

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

My name is Bob, and I am a cow.

My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

Come, my children, to the bread cult!

Why'd my grandpa fall over?

'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!