My jokes

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

I hate my life.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

You know this joke really cracks up my bones!

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.

I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-

OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."

"Why?"

"He was very open-minded!"

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I think my penis has facial recognition.

My wife left me and took the kids.

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.