My jokes

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

Roses are red, grass is greener.

When I think of you, I play with my weiner.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha