My jokes

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

You guys wanna hear a joke?

My LOVE LIFE.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"

"Six pounds."

"And shaving?"

"Three pounds."

"Good, then shave my head."

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

-Al Nassr owner

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks!

My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!

Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.