My jokes
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.