My jokes

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...

Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.

There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?

He's Dahmer's son @domink.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."