My jokes

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was such a good pilot.

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

What do you call a person with a flip flop?

My dad.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

You want a joke? My entire existence.