My jokes

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.