My jokes
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
My anus smells.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Memes
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.