My jokes

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.

My anus smells.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger sister.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

- JFK

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.