My jokes

I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.

But hay! It's in my jeans!

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.

I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.

A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.

Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*

Friend: Are you okay?

Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

Hi 👋 I have some good ideas 💡. It was the best game I had to get in my...

For jokes, search my YouTube channel: Knowledge with arslan.