My Jokes

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.

Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"

John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"

Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?

"I finished my job."

What about me?

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?

A poster on a wooden pole reads "Pleasuring yourself with a vape? Try masturbation instead. Masturbation alone or with a friend is a great safe alternative to vaping." There is also a website "WhatsInAVape.com" and "THE REAL COST" on the poster.

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.