Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
My Jokes
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
