My jokes

My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.

I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.

My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.

Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?

Because the children kept calling me "daddy."

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked my mom.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

If you like this kind of stuff, then sub to my YouTube channel: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCMmYegHG5zb6Kj9hIQk5Y2g

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

So my bus... goodness.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.