My jokes
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
My sex life.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
My abortion.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My will to live.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"