My jokes

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.