My jokes

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣

You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!